make new friends but keep the old….
I was headed to bed at 9 pm when i realized that my week to post is almost up. Last night, we stayed up like college kids until 3 am and then had a 5 am reminder (aka, hungry baby) that we are no longer in that season of life. Even though i am very tired, i do have something on my heart. And so I have contacts replaced by glasses, pjs, pandora instrumental station, and a decaf cup of coffee to see me through this post.
the last couple of days i have been thinking about friendship. It started when i looked out of the window of our apartment attached to ben’s parents house (don’t worry, this is temporary) and saw my mother-in-law sitting with her kindred spirit friend, Faith. They were in their bathing suits soaking their feet in the pool water with a cup of iced tea in hand. their friendship has a reputation in the willey household; it is said that when they talk no one can understand their meaning except the other…they just really “get” each other. And then a couple days later mom willey had a tea for one of her girlfriend’s birthday. every couple of minutes i could hear bursts of genuine, delight-filled laughter from the group.
seeing these moments of true connection has made me think of the kindred spirits throughout my life. random memories that i have not thought of in years pop into my head as i go about my day….
jen dressing catie and me up like 80’s rock stars, making up new kids on the block dances with molly, family devos at the regiers house, blasting oldies and hanging out of the car with abbie and amy, ryan in his loft putting on a piano “concert” for us, all day shopping trips with mom, reading the OT through the night with angie, emily’s period pants at lou malnati’s, after pcm dinners with beck, the girl dance party in erikah’s parents living room, funny faces in the mirror and made up songs on the guitar with mandi, the evening on lake michigan with christina, mandi, and erin, freaking out when finding out lauren was pregnant, reading the beautiful letter miriam wrote……
the only thing that these scenes have in common is the sense of knowing and being known. the energy that moments of true friendship brings is a wildly burning bush for me.
naturally, these moments are more rare for me here in new jersey. to console, i remind myself that the memories scrolling through my mind took years to make. each bosom friend took a “hi, i’m anna/adriana/audi; what’s your name?” each special time had plenty of awkward ones leading up to it. and each very familiar crowd began with anonymity and tears behind my eyes.
i am at the beginning again. some days all i can feel is potential. and some, like when my mother-in-law has best friends and teas, i am overwhelmed with a longing to return to where i am known.
this longing has developed into a long term prayer for friends. true ones. deep ones. kindred ones.
so, you are probably asking what the heck my burning bush is for this week…..i sound downright forlorn! well, every deeply buried, wonderful memory of you all has been like a morsel of chocolate to my lonely soul. you are still in my heart, encouraging it, giving it joy. AND, lest i be stuck in the “glory years”, every prayer is filled with genuine, expectant BELIEF that the Lord will provide a bosom friend or two here. He knows that, for me, enjoying a girlfriend from the heart is truly “earth crammed with heaven”.
Love to you, my kindred friends,
ps…mom, you’re going to kill me but i don’t have a pic of atticus yet. they are currently stuck in my email. next time….