Home Sweet Hotel
tomorrow i am moving into an hotel room. while i am trying hard (ok-not really) to see this as a wild willey adventure, i am afraid i am seeing this experience’s true colors…blush rose floral with an accent of baby blue swirls (my new comforter and curtains).
ugggg….i long for home. to paint the nursery lancaster blue and stencil my fav atticus finch quote above atticus’ crib – er – pack n play. to turn up the same familiar street after a long vacation. to walk into the door and be hit by our family’s smell, embedded in the walls we’ve been there so long (hopefully this time i won’t smell chinese). to leave the same light on in the kitchen every night before we go to bed. to start the tea and head to “my spot” soon after i close atticus’ door for the last time that day, instinctively skipping the floor board that creeks.
ok, i think you get. sameness. settledness. something that happens over and over again that you can count on and come back to when your inner and outer worlds are chaos. home. but i can’t float for the next month; i am tired of being a nomad. and so, i search for where, besides a familiar bedroom, living room, kitchen… to find rest.
as atticus becomes more aware of me and the world around him, our moments have become more relational and together. one, particularly sacred, happened last week at my parents. it was a beautiful day and the maple tree was at the peak of its turning….
in reality, atticus lying on me, totally still, captivated, as we watch a tree turn from green to gold is a briefer moment than the ones we will spend in a home someday. much briefer. atticus is still enjoying long lap times with his mama. yesterday we snuggled for the better part of an hour. today we read the same book three times. it is very possible that i am more “home” now than four walls will ever make me.
ps…question for my friends (my family are my friends :). what, besides your four walls, makes you feel settled and peaceful, like a home? it can be as little as tea (it is for me!!!) but it’s an interesting question to me and i want to get to know YOU in this blogging process, not just the other way around