5 or less

by willeya

awhile back i had this idea that it would be worth my while to find something that makes me (truly) happy for $5 or less.  and then to indulge in that thing with little to no self control until it runs its course and another $5 or less pleasure is found.  repeat process.  for the rest of my life.

this week i had the classic frog in water experience.  you know, where it dies before it realizes it’s dying?  i have my own personal hot water and this week it was turned on high:  a little boy’s constipation, worry, a little boy’s diarrhea, food allergies, obsessive thoughts, routine, routine, routine, insecurity, meal planning, toys everywhere, painful relationships, blowing the grocery budget, tired family, waiting, disappointment, a smelly bathroom, and not belonging.

i woke up hollow today.  i looked inside and there was nothing there.

and then i remembered my idea.  something different; something fun; something ME; something spontaneous – unplanned and unrestricted; something that fits in between daily life; and something under $5.  i thought through my options:

  1. first hair cut in a year. boo. more than $5.
  2. hours of barnes and nobles and coffee.  meh – i have a child.
  3. long, soulful, hilarious conversation with a bosom friend, EYEBALL to EYEBALL in an independent coffee shop.  meh – life is tight this week. must stick to the basics.
  4. mcdonald’s $1 hot fudge sunday.  aaaahhh…nope.  remember the “truly” part?
  5. finding a new blog look that uses words like “rustic” and “grunge”, topping it off with a perfect picture that captures on the outside the release i so desperately need on the inside?  yes.

i’m not sure how something so little can do so much.  but i don’t fight it as my hollow spaces begin to fill, gaining the substance of me again.

if we were eyeball to eyeball in that delicious coffee shop, this is the point in the conversation where i would stop. say “i have a question”.  squeal with anticipation at knowing you more.  and ask,

“so what would you do with your 5?” ….