in the arena
by willeya
i have a secret. sshh, it’s a secret.
in my daydreams, i’m not a mom. well, i am a mom but i am not doing mom stuff. i’m a guest speaker at an adoption conference, a group therapist, a zumba instructor, a nutrition coach, an activist for orphans, the winner of so you think you can dance, and a blogger extraordinaire with thousands of readers inspired by my take on the world.
today’s been the writing dream. i barely forget to turn off the water getting ready for A’s sink bath. i’m writing a post in my head and he poops on our bed. not in his pants – on our bed. water’s running….
but he’s in bed now and my secret’s not finished.
in my dreams i am honest about how stinkin’ passionate i really am. i shun the shame that whispers guilt that not all my daydreams take place in my home, with my family. i embrace that my name is not [primarily] wife or mother, but daughter. and that the Father has put wide things in my heart. in my dreams i trust my dreams.
and the secrets keep coming…
the state approved my application to be a licensed counselor. the letter came today. the paper in my hands feels like the sink water on my feet, bringing me back to what is real.
the bath is real. the letter is real. this dream became real. i remember when it lived in my head like all the rest.
suddenly i am scared. i ask ben if he’ll take as good care of A as i do. the body tingles from a heart pumping faster. o God give me courage…this is what i wanted, right?
“The credit belongs to the {wo}man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends him{her}self in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his{er} place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Teddy Roosevelt
Love it!!! Use the passion you have to inspire others to get out there are change the world! This is the beginning of such wonderfully exciting things!
I think this is my favorite post ever.
thank you rachel for the encouragement. it means a lot that you are excited for me.
you got your license??!! congratulations! i am very proud of you. =) i love your words and your embracing of your dreams and the Father who gave them to you. i love Teddy’s words too… to “dare greatly” in success and defeat… i see why you love those words too. =)
well, i do not technically have my license. my application to get a license has been approved, meaning after i pay them money and they make sure i am not a criminal, then they will grant me the license. the biggest step in the 100 step process is behind me though :). now it’s just a matter of weeks. thanks for your kind words bethany. i know you “get me” in this way and i am so grateful. looking forward to this week :)
Thanks Anna, for sharing your heart. your honesty about who you are brings such a smile to my face, because I so like that person: )
Congratulations! That’s a big step. I know you’ve been working towards this for a long time. It’s so great to see people grow into the dreams and skills that God has placed in their hearts. Continue in your calling!