hunger’s three alarms {plus dessert}

by willeya

it’s early, just getting light, and i hear the little one talking to himself.  he is my alarm clock.  i do not hear the blaring beep beep five inches from my head, but his waking sigh sounds like a tidal wave in my dreams.

woosh. 

i stay awake under my covers a few moments longer.  i use the time before he grows impatient to think through my day.  my first thought is always,

what’s to eat? [breakfast]

breakfast finished, i brave the rain for two onions and a pound of mushrooms for dinner. the recipe calls for 8 hours cooking time and i feel in a race.

time wins.  standing in line at the produce stand i convert the recipe from crockpot to oven.  my shoulders relax a little and i take the long way home.

we go to jamie’s house for an hour-and-no-more tea. i ask her why God set hunger in us, to go off three times – a. day.  by the end of our visit i am not listening very well because i am thinking,

what’s to eat? [lunch]

ellie stops by with the co-op food while we are eating lunch.  i start crunching numbers as i write her the check.  barely enough.  actually, 7 dollars not enough.  we discuss how to thaw frozen liquid in a glass jar in time for dinner without it breaking and then she is out the door.

i start on dinner.

aahh, i am here. i calculate that it is now safe to stop thinking about food until it is time to call ben to pick up the chocolate that will need to start melting by 7:15 for dessert for our guests tonight.  

1 hour not about food.

that hour is now.  silence is the loudest sound; stillness is the fastest movement.  aaahhhh, pea- BEEP. BEEP. hunger’s alarm rages within me. i break my non-food thoughts ten minutes into the hour to remember that i have not eaten anything but apples and peanut butter all day.  and even those i bummed off jamie.

3 people with 3 alarms. 9 alarms i hear loudly everyday.  someone call the pizza guy ’cause this momma’s hitting snooze.

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