just the facts
my writing self is still these days. i am ok with this as she keeps me up too late and tires me so. i am happy for this peace and i find there is still so much left of me when she is gone that – when she is here – i very rarely speak on. ben’s gone for the night so i thought i’d take the time to do a good ole’ plain update.
On My Nightstand are too many books so that some i will never actually read. the ones i am intently reading right now are A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle. i am enjoying her so much that i have already pondered calling our girl (if she is had) “Leine” for her middle name. L’Engle wrote the famous “A Wrinkle In Time” books and this one is about her life at home as a wife, mother, and writer. she somehow manages to speak to all levels of living, where function and being intersect, through stories of her every day.
i’m also reading Attachment in Psychotherapy which is as clinical as it sounds, but much better. some moments i sit across from my clients and think “what is this, anyways?” this book helps me to answer that question and is one of the most profound explanations of human development and relating i have encountered yet. it speaks my “unthought known” over. and over. again. i am thankful to have words for what we all know and feel in the space between us.
On TV is Downton Abbey, of course. if you haven’t watched it, you really need to. i was told this a thousand times over before i watched it and i see now why. for me, it’s less about the story line and more about the working class, the womens’ dresses, and the English countryside. if not the characters, then the rich detail, and if not that, something will get you about this series.
On CD is Sara Groves, on repeat (surprise, i know). i have still not caught my breath from Fireflies and Songs (and specifically that song) to go on to her next, Invisible Empires. F&S the song talks to my heart about its ideals and perfectionism. it knocks on my tightly closed doors and asks if i would open them to New Things, which are perhaps even better than Expected Things.
In My Kitchen is one pot of beef stock rolling on the stove, one pot of chicken stock simmering in the crock, and warm almond blueberry muffins with just enough raw milk left in the quart to go with it. (i am glad i am only reporting on today cause yesterday was not so pretty :)
On My Mind is a lot of things, my armpit not being the least of them. but since you probably don’t want to hear about my armpit or why it is on my mind, i will move onto the second most pressing, which is disciplining atticus. that boy looks me in the eye and does the very thing i am saying no to and then when i ask him to look me in the eye after it’s done, he won’t. oh to shape this child’s heart without it breaking.
In My Heart are these last two days, locked in (hopefully) forever there because i didn’t bring my camera. the three of us took a mini-vacation to a Christian retreat place that was actually way nicer than we expected. the image i most hold in my heart is the one of the three of us in the indoor pool, under the skylight’s beam, right after ben “surprised” us from under the water. water droplets hung in the air like fireworks around us, we were both smiling big, looking at him, and he was open mouth laughing, face to the sun. can you see it? it was lovely.
On My Calendar is a two day visit from a childhood friend. she is a friend “of my right hand”, as L’Engle would say. we are opposites who value the good and laugh at the bad in the other. she says “oh An” and i say “oh Kris” and somehow that says years of words lived together. i was the one who “diagnosed” her as pregnant when i called to tell her my news and now our babies are 4 days apart. writing this makes me can’t wait to see her.
how bout you?