mr flu comes to town
it was selfish today when i slipped in bed next to him and stroked his hair while he slept. he didn’t need me in that moment and i woke him up, but i haven’t snuggled him like this since he was a baby. these past three days atticus has said a dozen words to his usual hundreds; walked maybe twenty feet; hasn’t smiled once. not even once. he is is a very sick boy.
being with him in the middle of the night took me back to labor and those first baby days. i turned down the heat, ran the bath water, and stripped him down to free his body. he was brought low to the earth and i followed him there. it was a very base experience, the two of us bringing in the new day sun – desperate for relief – together. in a peaceful moment he fell asleep holding my hand.
tonight we took him to the emergency room and learned that we weren’t giving him enough liquids to stay hydrated. since 1 tablespoon every five minutes of coconut water, he has thrown up once and still just lays beside us, but our little atticus has come back into his face. his eyes are familiar again. of course there’s nothing like knowing your child is going to be ok, but ole’ mr. flu has sunk us deeper into the sand of each other.